Boss: Hello, I am looking for the perfect Employee.
Candidate: Hello, I hope that will be me!
Boss: I need someone on whom I can release my daily frustrations and the wounds I carry from my childhood.
Candidate: Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Were you hurt a lot during your childhood?
Boss: Well, my parents wanted a boy, and they couldn’t forgive that I was born a girl. I had to wear boys’ clothes, and everyone at school made fun of me. I never had anything pink, even though I really wanted to, and I couldn’t have earrings either. So, as you can see, I have quite a bit to take out on you.
Candidate: I see. And how exactly does it work when you release your tension on me?
Boss: Basically, I will speak to you mockingly and condescendingly. I might even insult you, but only when you mess something up.
Candidate: But only those who work make mistakes, right?
Boss: That’s right, and I do appreciate diligence, but let’s face it, a mistake is a perfect opportunity to humiliate you to the point of tears.
Candidate: Does it help if I show that I’m ashamed when this happens?
Boss: Oh, yes! That would be great. If I see that you’re suffering, it makes it even more satisfying to hurt you.
Candidate: I’d like you to know that I’m raising two kids on my own, so there might be times when I need to ask you for a favor.
Boss: Perfect! That will be something I can really take advantage of. Excellent! For example, when I’m having a particularly bad day, I can ruin your plans and not let you go to an important event for your children. Sometimes, though, I’ll be incredibly kind and considerate, you know, so that you feel important to the company and think I care about you. But, of course, we both know that’s not the case.
Candidate: All right, since I’m solely responsible for my children, I’m vulnerable enough not to be choosy.
Then congratulations, you’re hired! Now, guess who will be the one working the most overtime?
Candidate: I hope it’s me! And thank you so much; I can’t wait to start working together!