“If he’s not latching properly, take your breast out of his mouth. Otherwise, he won’t learn. It’s especially important in the first days because of the colostrum.”
“Colostrum? What’s that?” The young new mom’s eyes widened.
“Oh, come on, everybody knows that. It’s what your body produces in the first few days. Colostrum strengthens the baby’s immune system and helps with digestion,” replied the mother of four, who was now expecting her fifth, with an irritated tone.
“The nurse never mentioned that.”
“You didn’t read it in any book?”
“What book?”
“Surely you have some kind of book to prepare for childbirth?”
“It only talks about the stages of pregnancy. It doesn’t say what I’m supposed to do once the baby is born,” the young mother said, troubled.
“You could be preparing better for your first child,” the other woman scolded, then swept her gaze around the changing room.
Some of the women waiting for the prenatal exercise class quickly dropped their eyes, while others stared back at the strict, know-it-all mother with proud, even defiant expressions.
“How will I know if he’s doing it right?”
The young mother was eager to gather every bit of vital information before another sleepless night began.
“If his mouth latches nicely around the areola, that’s good. If not, you have to pull it out.”
“Doesn’t that hurt?” she asked with a wince.
“You just gently stick your finger in his mouth. That’s it.”
The seasoned mother was clearly running out of patience. The young woman figured she’d better not push the topic any further. She already wished the ground would swallow her whole for taking pregnancy so lightly. But no matter—she would catch up. She’d read everything. She’d ask everyone.
“I knew it was your baby crying again,” the substitute nurse snapped, standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips. “If you don’t feed him properly, I’ll have him taken away for the night so he doesn’t disturb the others.”
The young mother, who had been desperately trying to get her barely one-day-old infant to nurse correctly for hours, was too exhausted to fight anymore. She let the baby “do it wrong”—at least he was calm. At home, when no one was criticizing her, she would teach him.
“Did you give him water?” the nurse asked abruptly before leaving the three mothers alone in the room.
“Water?”
“You don’t even know that?” the nurse snapped. “Are you trying to dehydrate that child? You can’t breastfeed properly, and you don’t even give him water?” she muttered. “Just because I work in another department doesn’t mean I don’t know babies. I’ve given birth too—it’s not rocket science.”
The young mother looked helplessly at the bottle, which she thought was for “emergencies only.” Besides, both the nurse and the mother of four had told her countless times not to give water to the baby before six months. Even the books she’d bought in the last few weeks said so. So whom should she believe?
She was far too tired to put her newborn through another ordeal.
“Is he eating well?” the experienced mother asked.
“He’s not latching properly, but I’m trying to teach him.”
“Is he gaining weight?”
“Yes, totally on track.”
“Then there’s nothing wrong with his feeding.”
“But his mouth doesn’t look like you described.”
“Is it easy to take your breast out of his mouth?”
“No, he sucks like a little piglet.”
“Then why are you bothering him while he eats? Who cares what his mouth looks like if there’s suction? You don’t even know that? How do you expect to take care of him if you don’t even learn the basics?”