Emily’s Diary – Entry 28

A Real Grown-Up Relationship

It really does seem like I'm in a real, grown-up relationship. Sure, there's a fairly big age gap between us. I managed to dig up from the contract that he's forty-four. But maybe that's actually for the best. There are happy couples out there with an even bigger gap than ours. Kids and everything.

Men at this age are past all their nonsense — the soul-searching, the scalp-hunting. In today's world, men don't really mature enough to start a family until they're past forty. By then they've got a stable life, the patience for a serious relationship, and for kids. For a man, it barely matters when he becomes a father.

If everything goes perfectly, and say in a year we decide to start a family, Ben will be sixty-five by the time our older child turns twenty, and I'll be forty-nine. I think that's completely manageable. II'd want the second one a year or two after the first, so neither kid ends up looking like his grandkid instead of his own next to him.

Since we're such a perfect match, body and soul, there's a real chance that this time next year I'll already be rubbing my baby bump. Plus, he could put my skills to great use in his business. And later he could even bring me into the company. Especially once I'm his wife and the mother of his children. That would set up both kids' futures, and I'd never have to worry about money again. Okay, I never really did, but a fifty-percent stake in a company that size… God! I got chills just thinking about it. Millions landing in my account every year…

We saw each other twice this week, because he said he didn't want to cause problems for me at work. Such a mature attitude, too!

I did fall a little behind, though, because I keep catching myself daydreaming. I picture our future together, our beautiful children, exotic vacations, two-week ski trips… Then I end up working until dawn. When I finally finish, I can't resist going out on the balcony with a drink. I sit there slowly sipping my pink gin and tonic, still spinning fantasies. I averaged five hours of sleep this week. Whatever. I'm young — this is the time to savor every moment of life.

He took me to lunch on Tuesday. Oh my God. My whole body still goes up in flames just remembering it.

He picked me up at noon and we drove down to the marina. He'd already booked a table at one of the restaurants there. We walked over from the car hand in hand. I walked beside him so, so proudly. Ben is insanely hot, and women fall apart around him. And he's mine!

We'd barely sat down when two waiters materialized to make sure we got the best possible service. Ben told them we'd place our order now, but that we had a little business to take care of first. Exactly forty-five minutes, he said, and everything should be on the table when we got back.

"Now come on, let's not waste any time," he breathed into my ear.

I had no idea what he had in mind, but my burning body probably guessed. He pulled me hurriedly toward his yacht. The second I saw the boat, a hot shiver ran through every inch of me. From that point on, the whole thing felt almost out-of-body. I was so swept up in the excitement I couldn't even process what was happening.

In one of the cabins, a bed was already turned down, waiting for Ben to make me his while lunch got ready. I honestly don't know what turned me on more — him, or this dizzyingly glamorous way of living. Either way, it was incredible again. Afterward I kept trembling for a long time, like a leaf in the wind.

All through lunch we kept laughing about how much more we'd earned that meal than the people who just sat around for nearly an hour waiting to be served. We had genuinely worked hard for that day's portion.

"Once your project wraps up, you're taking a week off, and we're visiting both our families," he said between dessert and coffee.

I froze for a second.

"What families?" I asked, uncertain.

Ben took both my hands and gently stroked my wrist. He slipped one foot out of his shoe and ran it slowly up my calf and thigh, all the way to my most sensitive spot. I lowered my head so no one would see my lips part.

"My parents, your parents, and our siblings," he listed, as if nothing at all were happening.

His big toe traced slow circles.

"I don't know," I whimpered, barely audible.

"No worries," he murmured. "I'll arrange everything."

I quickly grabbed his foot before I could moan and make a fool of myself. Maybe I could have covered my face so no one would see, and just let myself go with the moment, but the shame that's hardwired into me wouldn't allow it. I didn't let go of his foot until I'd calmed down a little.

Nothing more was said about that dreadful idea afterward. I'm hoping he forgets it by the end of August. I don't want to talk about my alcoholic father right now. Not even now that he's dead and can't hurt anyone anymore. And I definitely don't want to get into my awful relationship with my mother. We've only been together for a week. We still belong in the pink haze, not the gray reality.

We met again on Thursday, and luckily it didn't come up that time either. He took me to brunch at a luxury hotel. Somehow, once again, we ended up checking out a room first and testing whether the mattress was up to standard…

I'd never been to a luxury hotel before. Or to brunch, for that matter.

Speaking of my father, he would definitely have been proud of me for drinking champagne before noon. Ben didn't drink because he was driving, but I couldn't resist the experience. Didn't want to, either. I only had the one glass, but it felt amazing.

Several people came over to say hello. Apparently even more people know Ben than I'd realized. I think I stood next to him the whole time with my chest puffed out. It's insanely cool that out of every woman in the world, he chose me. And he's mine!

Plus, it's obvious he's proud of me. He loves introducing me to people. I melt every time he says it: "This is my darling."

I'm the girlfriend of a millionaire businessman…

"We're invited to a get-together with friends next Saturday," he said as he parked in front of my building, just as I was about to open the car door.

"Oh."

That was all I could manage. The news threw me a little. So he's already told his friends about me?

"It's a nice little barbecue at one of the guys' castle," he said, as casually as if that were the most ordinary thing in the world.

A guy with a castle. Well… If Mark and Sofia really push for it, they might still have a shot at scraping together some impressive property as a "guy" and a "girl." They do earn quite a bit, though it wouldn't hurt to have some family inheritance behind them too. Or an auction that, for once, wasn't rigged, where the only other bidders are people far worse off than they are…

So on one hand, I'm insanely happy and proud that I'm finally in a real, adult relationship, and on the other, of course, I'm scared of what comes with it. What will his friends say about me? Will they like me? And his mother? Is this the kind of daughter-in-law she wanted? Can she picture me as the mother of her grandchildren? A year will fly by in no time, and after that we'll be spending a lot of time together because of the kids. Ben's pretty refined, so he was probably raised well, which makes me think his mother will be a devoted grandmother.

She'll have to come help after the birth, at least cook every now and then and things like that. We'll obviously have a cleaner, so she won't have to bother with that, but she really should putter around in the kitchen a bit. Then again, knowing Ben, he'd probably just hire a chef for that stretch, or ask one of his restaurant-owner friends to take care of us.

How great would it be if they brought us food from a fancy restaurant for a few weeks… Ooh, I need to raise a glass to that!